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BUTTERFLY SWORDS SAVED MY LIFE

September 19, 2018

 

 It was the summer of ‘17. My heart was broken. I was a mess. My head was foggy. I couldn’t think straight. I felt upside down. I'm so glad that's in the past. 
 

 

 

 Looking back, a lot of this period of my life is a blur. I just remember not being able to function at work and not being able to sing. What I do remember is that by some miracle, I was still able to get myself to my dojo to practice Martial Arts.

 

 Every Summer we do a weapons seminar. This year in particular was Butterfly Swords. I remember feeling so excited and thinking how badass this was going to be but the swords were so heavy that I was majorly intimidated.

 

 The form was tough. But I remember something about it feeling intuitive to me. Maybe this was the weapon that chose me. I remember building so much strength and this seemed to translate to internal strength.

 

 

 I went from feeling super rejected to feeling confident. Like I was worthy and good at something. In one class, my teacher even had me demonstrate the form by myself in front of the class. I remember feeling special and I remember how foreign that feeling was for me at that time.

 

 Jump to present time, to this day I still try and practice my swords every Sunday. For me they will forever be a symbol of perseverance. They will always remind me of a time where I wanted to give up on everything. Where I didn’t have enough energy to care. When depression had fully taken over the entire fiber of my being. And yet. I continued. I had one thing that excited me. That reminded me that my fire hadn’t died out entirely.
 

 

 

 I hope that if you’ve gone through something that rattled you and turned your world upside down that you decide to keep going. I know it feels horrible and that you’re deep in quick sands but tides do turn. I hope you can find a glimmer of sparkle in my story and maybe you can relate.

 

 It gets better.

OUTFIT DETAILS
Leggings by Comme Ci (Similar HERE)
Top by American Apparel (Similar HERE)
Sneakers by Basics (Similar HERE)

 

 

 

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