I guess I should rephrase that. *I am not successful according to society’s impossible standards to live up to.* According to society, by my age of 28, I should be married with kids. Making enough money to afford a house. I should be making millions in my career. I should have everything figured out.
This is the farthest thing from the truth. I think it is something that hardly anyone can relate to and this concept is dated and more applicable to earlier generations before us. Yet the pressure is still there.
I find it so sad that internal success and personal growth is not valued the same as having luxurious possessions. For example, I had no idea I even struggled with self-esteem issues until I graduated college. Years of therapy and I didn’t have this spiritual connection with myself until after my school years. I worked hard to develop this. I did exercises in emotional control. I decided to dig deep and do the dirty kind of soul home work that is cringeworthy and painful. But it was so worth it. I know so much more about myself and just knowing that gave me much more confidence in myself and that is invaluable.
The truth is, even though I’m so aware of all the many life lessons I’ve gone through and all the personal growth I’ve done at such a young age, I often don’t feel like I’m enough. Too many times I feel worthless. I’ve realized that this is caused from too much comparison. I look at the lives of my friends and the people I went to high school with who are ready to start a family and my journey is so radically different from theirs. How can I even compare? Just because your journey is different than someone else’s doesn’t make your journey less valuable.
That’s something I have to remember often. When I get down on myself for not making enough money to thrive or to pay my mom back for things or when I realize that I’m no where close to finding my soulmate, I take a deep breathe and I remind myself that that’s ok. I can’t tell you how many times I get anxiety because I feel like I’m not doing enough. Even when I’m working 16 hour days and feeling burned out, I still feel as though I’m not doing enough to further myself towards accomplishing my dreams of being a super successful boss lady.
Success is what you make it. Success can be as simple as putting on a killer outfit. Since I struggle with depression, sometimes success is just getting out of bed that day. Small victories have monumental value.
I hope that those reading this who feel similarly to me can find confidence in owning their different path. You are beautiful, you are strong and your life journey has so much damn value in it!
PS. Just want y’all to know from me to you, I got my hair done at dry-bar before taking these photos, did my make-up and planned this outfit to post in advanced. Just want you to know the truth behind blogging. I totally did not wake up like this!
Top from Target by WhoWhatWear Collection (Similar HERE)
Pleat Front Trousers by Leith (Purchase HERE)
Cat Eye Sunglasses by Vogue (Purchase HERE)
Earrings from Target (Purchase HERE)
Shoes by Franco Sarto from DSW by (Purchase HERE)