A reflection on the behaviors and realizations I had in 2022 regarding my mental health, and what I’m keeping and changing for the New Year.
Every year after Christmas I feel incredibly bummed. There’s so much buildup and joy for this holiday and then it just ends. And I feel this post holiday wave of depression. I’ve also never ever been a fan of New Years Eve. Yes, I love getting dolled up but now that I’m in my thirties the idea of paying for expensive Lyft rides to take all the way across town and wearing uncomfortable clothes while being surrounded by couples at midnight just doesn’t appeal to me. I don’t think NYE is nearly as fun as Christmas or Hanukkah (which I celebrate).
The larger problem I experience with NYE is the deep reflections I have about the year before. What often happens is I get really hard on myself about all the things I wanted to do but never did. And I compare myself and realize I haven’t had any radical change. It’s a feeling of being haunted by the risks I didn’t take. But now that I’ve been a grinch or a negative Nancy I want to stop and take pause of what an actual GOOD year 2022 has been for me even though the world broke out in chaos.
I gained clarity on the career field I want to switch to, I started being creative again after YEARS of suppressing my creativity, and one of my reels hit 168k views. Got my social media assistant certificate. Saw Billie Eilish AND Lady GaGa in concert. Took weekend trips to Big Bear, Carmel, Santa Barbara and Laguna Beach. Ate at some absolutely decadent restaurants like Nobu The Ivy and Barton G’s and had some fabulous cocktails along with it. I spent time with my friends and continued to have a super close and special relationship with my mom, which is more impressive given that we are living together.
In addition, I also made the difficult decision to stop seeing a therapist after three consecutive years in the pursuit of finding a healing method that will get me more into my body and be more physical. I went another year without anxiety and depression medication and found I could absolutely deal without it.
I brought my blog back! I got to be a fashion assistant for an Emmy award winning costume designer and helped on an Interview Magazine shoot in Malibu and got to meet Fran Drescher. I dabbled in PR and worked an awesome fashion event. Modeling in my school fashion show. Aced all my classes (from fashion to computer information systems to digital marketing to media) with glowing reviews from my amazing and supportive teachers.
Also, I went to a Hell themed birthday party and Musical Theatre themed birthday party. I hit up Vogue night and went to an awesome Old Hollywood submarine experience for my birthday. And had Alice in Wonderland themed High Tea at Lily Rose in Downtown LA. I went to many museums and saw incredible pieces of art from Van Gogh, Chagall, and Dali.
Ultimately, when I look back on this year I think “God damn that was fun and I’m so incredibly blessed.” I don’t know if I can top this past year but I’m going to try! I truly just felt so much joy even though I went through intense periods of struggled with my mental health. I spend so much time and energy feeling like a failure and comparing myself but really I’m so lucky and happy with the life that I live and I’m really proud of the person that I am.
Here are a few things I did in 2022 that I am going to keep with me for 2023 to make sure it’s going to be just as iconic as 2022.
-Taking YOGA classes weekly. Whether in my living room through peloton or hot yoga, it makes a massive difference in how I feel mentally. I particularly love restorative classes too.
-When in a funk, instead of nap, creative. Sometimes it takes every ounce of my being to force myself to do this. But creating content more than consuming it has helped give me confidence in my own voice and perspective.
-Reading my gratitude list every morning and before I go to bed puts things in perspective.
-If it’s not a hell yes it’s a hell no. The mantra involved in every decision making process I come across. Essentially, not saying yes to things I hate and not going to situations and events I don’t want to be at!
-Taking rest days of doing absolutely nothing to heal my mental health.
-Talking through my anxiety with loved ones and my support system instead of bottling it up.
-Ordering a meal delivery service and cooking instead of Door-dashing and Uber Eats every night. Green Chef is the best!!
-Starting each morning with a meditation and oracle cards.
I look forward to contributing to grow this list. It makes me emotional to reflect upon the past year and how great it was and it makes me so sad that I can be so hard on myself. Another thing to work on for 2023!
It took a lot of courage and mental work to bring this blog back. If you’re reading this or if you watch my videos, I want to thank you deeply and humbly from the bottom of my heart. Being a creative certainly isn’t easy but nothing has been more clear than the fact that it’s the right path for me.
Wishing everyone a happy, lovely, joyous, adventurous, and cozy New Year! May all your wishes and dreams come true for you in 2023!