How I made the decision to start posting again and my musings on the current era and iteration of former fashion-blog Iridescent Scarab.
Hello, it's me. If I didn't drop a good Adele reference I wouldn't be able to properly showcase how inherently cheesy I am even though I'm inherently introspective. I guess I never really thought I’d be called to post on my blog again but here we are. I think because the times are so uncertain and because I’m going through so much uncertainty in both my personal and professional life that I decided that this blog could be what it once was for me a few years ago: an outlet. An opportunity to alleviate the heaviness in my head by releasing it out into the ether.
“I decided to take my power back and in fact, that’s going to be the central theme of this newly imagined blog. The same bright colors but with new growth, maturity, and personal development integrated. I felt as though I was hiding and not sharing my gifts or energy with the world. With it being such a tumultuous time in our world, I wanted to actively observe and respond instead of just being a wallflower."
Speaking of heaviness in my head, I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not I should post again. Am I opening up a monstrous can of worms? This could be triggering. A few years ago, I felt so strongly about this platform and it’s detriment to my mental health. In fact, I even feel a certain amount of trauma and pressure associated with it. Endless hard work without boundaries, burn-out, a constant pit of emptiness in my stomach, and most of all I just didn’t like the person I became while pursuing this profession. Missing out on making memories and spending all my free time on my computer and my phone.
Taking my Power Back. Sharing my Voice.
This is why I decided to take my power back and in fact, that’s going to be the central theme of this newly imagined blog. The same bright colors but with new growth, maturity, and personal development integrated. I felt as though I was hiding and not sharing my gifts or energy with the world. With it being such a tumultuous time in our world, I wanted to actively observe and respond instead of being a wallflower. So I decided that my posts will serve as a medium for me to heal and spread the knowledge I’ve learned from my life lessons and experiences while being aided spiritually and by the Universe.
Therefore, instead of sharing my outfits, you’ll instead be getting a super personal glimpse inside my head. No longer will I be obsessed with pleasing other people and making content solely for them. I will no longer obsess over numbers, collaborations, likes, and statistics. Since I’ve accepted that this will not be my career path and that I’m doing this just for fun, I am just going to be me, express myself, and embrace myself for who I am and who I’ve become. I am thirty now and I truly believe this is the best iteration of myself that I’ve seen. I finally feel happy with who I am and with all the pain and mental health struggles I experienced in my mid-twenties I knew I couldn’t let that be my lasting narrative. I have overcome so much. My narrative now is that of resilience, happiness, and perseverance. Finding joy in dark times.
Although it’s scary out there right now, I think I am able to find some solace in this thing. So I’m giving it another shot and inviting you to witness my journey of coming into my own and learning to live and speak my truth. My posts will consist of vulnerable journal entries, stream-of-consciousness posts, personal experiences with life-lessons, and what I’m feeling and going through at the present moment.
Sometimes we need to just stop, take a breath, and appreciate how far we’ve come instead of how far we have to go. May the journey continue on.