My moods tend to shift to extremes during this time. These are the red flags that help me prepare for the worst.
This period in isolation certainly has brought out the best and the worst in us. Forced to sit with ourselves and more time to contemplate, we either go to bed at peace with who we are or we are haunted by our past memories and fears of the future. I feel as though I experience all of these things and I have been doing spiritual work on myself since my early twenties.
I believe that knowledge, power, and awareness are valuable. Living mindfully and with intention can lead to breaking bad habits and living a happier and healthier life. Sometimes I get caught up in my bad habits and become so unaware of them that I slip into a dark place. I wanted to use this post as an opportunity to list the habits and behaviors of when I’m in a bad place to have a record of it and something to refer to. Plus, I have a lot of Capricorn in my birth chart so I love making lists! Additionally, I’d like to add the behaviors of when I’m in a good place and thriving to show the difference and compare the two.
“I believe that knowledge, power, and awareness are valuable. Living mindfully and with intention can lead to breaking bad habits and living a happier and healthier life. Sometimes I get caught up in my bad habits and become so unaware of them that I slip into a dark place."
The Good Place
-I delete Instagram from my phone and don’t waste energy on everyone’s highlight reels -I am eating three healthy meals a day. Small breakfast, big lunch, and small dinner. Usually, these meals involve lentils and kale. -I am connected to synchronicity -I take walks outside while listening to music and see hummingbirds or different insects or animals -I am able to reach out to my friends -I take a shower -I get 8+ hours of sleep -I do my nails -I am drinking at least 65oz of water -I meditate -I am dedicating time for micro-activism -I consult the Tarot for Spiritual Guidance -I change clothes multiple times a day -I am able to work-out -I am listening to music -I am inspired to watch movies and tv shows -I am motivated to exercise -I am drinking tea multiple times a day -I keep my phone away from me or in the other room two hours before bedtime -I am wearing my blue light protective glasses -I am in the mood to put on makeup -I am keeping a schedule and keeping myself busy -I am creative and in the flow with lots of ideas
The Bad Place
-I am addicted to my phone and unable to put it down.
-I’m spending hours mindlessly scrolling on Instagram and comparing myself to others.
-I’m skipping meals and ending up going on a snack rampage at night.
-I’m not taking the time to get some fresh air or take a walk outside.
-I haven’t showered for days
-I have chipped nails
-I have not slept well
-I don’t have enough energy to reach out to my friends
-I am not connected to synchronicity
-I am thinking about the past or thinking about the future and energizing those thoughts into a spiral
-I'm irritable or ornery
-I lose motivation for exercise
-I nap multiple times a day
-I am not drinking enough water
-I am feeling cut off from love
-I am not feeling creative or interested in creating
-I can’t control negative thoughts or fear-based energy
-I am staying glued to my phone up until I go to bed
-I don’t keep myself busy enough and let my mind wander
-I am obsessing and checking the news all day, especially through Twitter
In looking at these two lists there is very clear data to me. Whoa, who do I think I am, a scientist? When I struggle the most is when I consume myself in technology, isolate myself by convincing myself I’m connected to others through my phone and that that’s enough, and when my eating habits are unhealthy. I also suffer when I’m not in the present and when I’m attached to fear energy. I think one big thing that helps is to not get upset at myself when I indulge my destructive behaviors. To be aware, accept it, and do better next time. Yes, it would be ideal to be in flow all the time but the fact of the matter is, is that we don’t exist solely on our own and other energies and influences come into play. We’d never feed the need to grow or change if we were constantly happy and in a good mood. Self-compassion and kindness both need to be practiced when going through this kind of ebb and flow in life.
I also think that when we find ourselves in a bad place we can get really surprised. We find ourselves asking “How did that escalate so quickly?” but having a list makes it so that you can see there were clues and hints all along leading to my temporary demise. Now I can ask myself
That being said I think there is a way to live in balance. Where your primary state can be so based on gratitude and self-love and you only fall off track once in a while. Once the brain realizes the habits that make you feel good it will want to continue with it. I think it will always be an experiment to see what those habits are and if there’s an opportunity for different or better habits that suit you more.
I guess the most important thing is to avoid stagnancy. That’s incredibly hard given the current state of the world but we can always start tiny. What are the small things that I can change? Then a bunch of small changes can primarily lead to something big, if necessary.