Letting go of my twenties and embracing the grace that comes with aging as a female.
Hello hello and here we are again with a topic that I don’t want to discuss because I feel a level of shame associated with it. However, I’m choosing to write about it because I’d like to challenge the beliefs that I grew up with about women and aging that were instilled upon me by the patriarchy.
The fact of that matter is that I have grey hairs. A lot of them. I recently went from Blonde to Brunette and when I was a Blonde I didn’t notice them as much. After going back to my natural color, which I absolutely love and don’t regret, I am noticing that there’s a lot of grey roots coming in.
The thing is, this isn’t new for me. I started greying at age 27. They were sparse and few and far between and I used to just tweeze them away. I believe anxiety caused me to grey early but I believe genetics play a factor in this as well. However, after doing some re-search, early thirties is a completely respectable age to have grey hair. I somehow thought this wouldn't happen to me until I was at least forty, but here we are and that's ok. I think I’ve seen an article online that said while in your early thirties there’s a still a chance of reversing grey hair growth but I want to just embrace them and embrace myself, because aging truly is a gift. If only women were allowed to do it without criticism and if only women getting older wasn't looked upon as spooky.
I remember I was watching an episode of “Broad City” and Ilana found a grey hair in Abbey's hair and was so excited because she said it means that you’re officially a witch once you get your first grey hair. I absolutely love this and am going to adopt this level of excitement for myself. I guess I've been a witch for a while and I'm not mad about that.
Another headline I recently saw was about Cobra Kai actress Mary Mouser saying she has grey hairs and thinks they’re so sexy. She’s younger than me so this made me feel so much less alone and also empowered to know that she felt empowered.
Then there's men and aging. When men get grey hairs we see them as sexy and mature. They are celebrated and deemed even more attractive than when they were younger. Society has problems letting women age in the same way, as gracefully as men are allowed to. Though I think there are movements and awareness about this subject and that it is getting better, we still have ways to go.
So maybe by me just accepting myself and accepting my grey hairs, especially during spooky season, I’m actually just giving the middle finger to the patriarchy. :-)
EDIT: As fate would have it, I was listening to one of my favorite pre-meditation talks given by Bob Roth this morning and it happened to be all about grey hairs. Apparently, scientific evidence has concluded that anxiety does not play a role in it but that age impacts the production of melanin and pigmentation in the hair. The more you know!